What Safe Means

by Kaji

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"What Safe Means" is an exploration of what it means to feel safe.
Touching on aspects of mental health, love and relationships, familial decay and abuse, self worth and identity. This EP aims to explore what it means to feel comfort and security, assurance and vulnerability.

This EP was recorded/mixed/mastered in our very own homes.
We've poured our heart and soul into the making of this record.
You listening to/buying this record means the world to us.

Thank you for your support
-Zuzu, Ahmad, Gerard


released October 10, 2014

Music/Lyrics: Kaji
Mix/Master: Ahmad Husayn



all rights reserved


Kaji Singapore

Post Hardcore from Singapore.

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Track Name: Lizzie Samuels
I hear her in my head.
She’s screaming, she’s screaming.
But sister doesn’t understand, she’ll come back.
I know so.

Look at the flowers Lizzie.
Look how they wither for you.
The poison leaves bit by bit, not all at once.
Be patient. You’re still healing.

If I lose my way and forget what I did.
Just remind me of what they spoke to me.
If you hold my hand and tell me not to.
I won’t remember what I’ve done to you.

I asked for everything to stay near me.
A sad excuse for a family, all is false.
When it all passes, will we still be here.
To keep apart, to stay apart.
With flesh to heart.

I felt nothing.
With my hands around your throat.
Track Name: King Lear
Aren't we all just trying to defeat ourselves.
Why do you make this home feel like hell.
Your demons holding us down.
Tearing us up then spitting us out.
This is just hope for me.
Just hope for me.

You see the fear in me.
I can’t seem to agree.
How you feed off sympathy.
The worth of your family.

Their eyes are watching you.
Your disguise is weak.
They see the weight on you.
It’s now the king they seek.
He rules with empathy.
But it’s us he bleeds.

He lays his hand on his child.
And spits on the woman that raised her, he hates them.
Threw them to the ground and smiled as temper left him.
Conscience is failing him.
Track Name: Sister Perdition
Don’t settle into uneasy sleep.
A hint of red and wine, of tainted thyme on your lips.
Your every breath of labored rest brought you closer to regret.
Into your body, he took your strength away.

Call out, call out.
You scream from your skin,
You scream from your skin.
You’re empty with the devil,
The devil, god and sin.

"Come hither", you whimper.
Lowered your hands so fair.
“Come here”, he whispers.
“I am your despair”.

It never fit quite right, the shiver in your spine.
A figure now so slight, come age, come time.
What you did will make you weep, as you fall at his feet.
All that you once were, is now lust and deceit.

Into your body, he took your strength away.
The devil and god in you, they know and they speak.
Track Name: Nina & The Shark
Long tales, tied up into weaves before you’d speak.
Your tongue crawled to meet the shore as he began to weep.
“I tried, I tried."
"I tried to keep such awful things at bay from you."
"Away from you.”

“To keep myself from cutting you loose.”
But nothing could be further from the truth.
He’s not sorry that you were so scared.
He was not there to calm your fear.

There’s nothing to reap, nothing left for you here.
No words, not a single tear.
His ghost will haunt you.
And your body won’t let you choose.

It will grow to resent you, it will grow to despise you.

And as summer began, your voice grew still.
After all this time you should have known.
Why would he expect any less from you.
Any less from you.

Mother came to, and the temper finally showed signs of slowing down.
To seek truth where it did not fit.
Your scars were lines she could not read.

And her heavy eyes can’t remember, was your heart ever aware.
Of the story she kept alive, it was wearing out, lies running out.
and tonight she’ll realize, you’ve given up, you’re bleeding out.

Oh heavy eyes.
Oh heavy eyes.
Track Name: Not For Want Of Trying
And in your eyes I can see it all.
Every day just like the ones before.
I’m sitting here, I’m sitting here where we used to meet.
I'm watching you.
I’m watching you walk away.

There's nothing more that you have to say.
There's nothing else that you want from me.
If I could ask for just another day, for just another day.
That would mean the world to me.

And I guess that's kind of true.

With you, I've seen a life and I've had a dream.
A shadow of what I used to be.
And now it's this dream that is haunting me.
It’s something I can’t wake from.

I wish I did better.
And I won't lie that you haven’t changed me.
Now I see clearer.
Your presence has aged me.
At least I am better.
Maybe I just never wanted you.
Maybe I'm a mess without you.
I want you to stay.

Why don’t we stay here.
With you in my view.
But you don’t want to stay.

Why don’t we stay here.
With you in my view.
But you don’t want to stay.

I tried, I tried to understand.
The pain in your eyes, your grander plans.
I’m trying, I’m trying.

Why can't I see the weight in your eyes.
These shaking feet can't seem to hold it's ground anymore.
I swear that I’m trying.

I’m sorry.
Track Name: Fault Lines
In the middle of the night you awaken.
Your fragile glass house smashed by your self content.
Your sense of comfort broken the moment she held your hand.
She never looked in your eyes as she threatened goodbye.

The faint sound of sirens soon makes it clear.
There is nothing worse than this, there is nothing worse than this.
Years of experience overflowing.
The only constant is never knowing.

The agony builds, the tension amounts.
The seconds to minutes that nobody counts.
You’re facing yourself like never before.
An image of pressure that you never bore.

They said just take your time.
I plead the fault is mine.

And in your eyes I can see the sadness building.
Your age is showing now.
There’s nothing more that I can say.
And even less that I can do.
To save you from you.

And in your eyes I can see the sadness building.
Your age is showing now.
There’s nothing more that I can do.
To save you from you.
I’m trying to.
Track Name: Hailsham
I speak my questions slowly.
The room is quiet and anxious.

I see them in the doorway.
React with wearing patience.
We pay the price to not conform.
Our childishness, the ill informed.

My life has grown affliction.
Cut off from all intuition.
But tell me what it is, what isn’t fair.
Why are we not God’s children.

If my fear’s right, we’re just fiction.
A creation of their conviction.
Are we wasting time asking.
Wasting time drawing conclusions.
I fall short on knowledge.
These causes I don’t understand.
We’re empty gray paintings.
Hung between the neck of your fallen youth.

“Oh poor creatures. What have we done to you?”
My eyes are dull, my fists are clenched.
Your care alone is false intent.
“Oh poor creatures. What have we done?”
“What have we done to you?”
“What have we done to you?”
Track Name: Glass Bones, Paper Skin
And every night and every day.
I close my eyes, I pray for something.
I pray for anything.
And every now, now and again.
I hold a stare at nothing.
I beat myself for nothing I can feel.

This brokenness is taking over.
These sleepless nights are beating me.
My willingness is tiding over.
I feel my soul depleting me.

They thought in you, I had my safety.
They thought in you I had a life.
So tell me why you had to leave me.
I struggle now deep inside.
And in my dreams you seem to leave me.
In all my thoughts you're still serene .
I hold my breath and wait on wishes.
Knowing still they won't come true.

Every night I break my skin.
To rid the hell I'm living in.
I was born with glass bones and paper skin.
I lie awake repenting sin.

Please let me know if this is forever.
I'm learning to cope but the pain's still there.
When I open my eyes in the morning.
The sun reminds me you're no longer here.
I rub the rays out of my view.
But my lonely heart is still with you.
I rub the rays out of my view.
But my lonely heart is still with you.

And even though people roll their eyes and call me crazy.
Especially then I won't give up.
Because if I could just give in.
If I could just take their advice.
This would all be disposable.

This won't be worth fighting for.
This wouldn't be love.
This won't be worth fighting for.
This wouldn't be love.

If I could take it back.
I'd do it all for you.

It speaks my age.
I'm weaker willed.
The fault I blame.
It's you I need.